Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Modern Family

So I had an interesting situation present itself at the coffee shop the other day...I was sitting at the Beanery over off Park st. getting some studying done. I was in the middle of a great chapter in Dallas Willard's "The Divine Conspiracy" when this lady walked in. She had a little bit of a hippie vibe to her, a little earthy if you will. She immediately recognized the woman who was sitting next to me who was in her late 30's - early 40's, wearing workout clothes with lots of makeup on. (not earthy at all)They proceeded to exchange pleasantries and started to catch up on life.

My hippie friend didn't seem to have much in the arena of volume control, and proceeded to have a very public/private conversation with the Stepford wife sitting across from her. As I listened to their conversation, this is what I gathered.

The "flower child" had just recently gone through a divorce - the paperwork had been finalized last August. She was currently going on a few dates with a guy that had just broken up with a mutual friend of the two ladies at the coffee shop. There was some drama coming from this situation - and it was definitely coming from our earthy friend. She seemed to have a flair for the dramatic in an especially gifted way.

Mean while, her ex-husband (whom she had just divorced) has since "traded teams" and is now dating a guy in town. Our hippie friend is ok with this however because at least this guy treats her 2 kids well.

As the conversation continued, I couldn't help but have a deep sadness creep over me. I felt sad for this lady who has had to endure the pain of divorce, all the while presenting an "everything is great" attitude to this other lady in the coffee shop. I felt sad for the Stepford wife who didn't have anything of substance to offer in terms of genuine friendship. I felt sadness for the husband who is overcompensating during this painful time with a pendulum swing to the complete opposite side. But most of all I felt and still feel a deep sadness for her kids. Kids who have to add these things to their story, and deal with the repercussions of their parents mishaps for the rest of their lives.

Sadly this is the 3rd time in the last 4 months that I have heard almost this exact same scenario. A divorce happening with one of the parents immediately entering into a homosexual relationship. As a youth pastor I deal with a lot of the fall out of situations like this. Kids that are hurt, confused, and eventually convinced that this is "normal". That this is what family looks like. That this is how to deal with conflict and temptation. That the happiness of the individual trumps the responsibility that one has in the family unit.

How we desperately need to re-establish how life is meant to be lived in this day and age. How desperately this town needs Jesus.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

High Street Bridge

So the bridge in the picture on my blog is high street bridge. It is our closest connecting point to Oakland, and is a bridge I cross a half a dozen times a week. It is also the dividing line between Alameda, and Oak Town. Cross it, and you literally are in a different world.

East Oakland is one of the sketchiest places around. The amount and type of crime that goes on around there is enough to cause concern even for the most Urban of people. The poverty there is in your face, and the amount of hopelessness that you see is almost palpable. Outside of an Oakland A's game or a mission to find the best burrito or bahn mi sandwich in the bay area, there is no reason for most people.

Then there's small town - 25mph - family laden - tree lined Alameda. Outside of the odd stolen bike - or jay walking incident, crime is non-existent here. The houses are old but well kept, lawns are mowed, dogs are walked, and smiles are exchanged.

What I don't understand is how these two worlds NEVER intersect... It's eerie how these two place are literally separated by this bridge, but behave as if they are worlds apart. I don't like it, I don't think it's right, and I don't think it's what Jesus would establish if he were mayor. But at the same time, I like the safety of the Island, and I like that I don't have physically needed people all around me. I need to figure out how to make heads or tales of what Jesus is asking me to do in light of this reality.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

the complex

jan 15th, the day i started living in alameda (aka- the east bay). it is now cinco de mayo and i feel like i am at the tip of the ice burg when it comes to discovering just how complex life is up here, especially for followers of Jesus. we are not numerous, visible, or loud and proud. our existence is minimized (if not ignored), marginalized, and mocked. the news stations and public voices takes on a whole new version of the "liberal media", and the intellectual establishments mock our naivety. yet the presence of God is not squelched, and his power and ability to move in peoples hearts is not diminished. But the incredible challenge of being a loving example of Jesus to those who mock him, while maintaining a biblical world view in this moral wasteland is daunting. i miss the ease of life in san diego, where the biggest dillema of the week is whether to go hear phil wickham lead worship at maranatha, go hear miles preach at the rock, attend a steller service at flood , or support one of a dozen up and coming church plants in the area. don't get me wrong, i know life is still dark down there... there are just a lot more lights. but god has brought me here, so here i am.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Nor Cal

What a different world it is up here. Being a So Cal native I am just starting to understand life up in the Bay Area.

Sweet, gnarly, and legit, are all words that show that I'm not from around here, and the fact that I refuse to incorporate hecka or hella into my vocabulary doesn't help. I miss the Sun and being able to wear my shorts and sandals on a daily basis. I miss the warmth at the beach, knowing where the best restaurants are, not to mention all of the people that I know and love. Yet for some reason God saw it fit to lead us on this adventure... So far it's been expensive, cold, and at times lonely (that's the glass is half empty talking). It's also been welcoming, adventurous, and delicious.
I love being near Nat's parents, grand parents, and my sister - I love that we have soooo many great things to do within an hour or two of our house. ( there's the half full)

The reality is that there are going to be some really tough things about living up here, and some great ones. What I do see though, is an incredible opportunity to see my love for Jesus be challenged, and grow. Stagnation isn't much of an option here, and for that I am grateful.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Categorized

Do you ever wonder how people have categorized you in their minds? It seems that people slap a label on you and put you on a shelf. When the time is right, or when they are in need of whatever you offer, they take you off the shelf, look you up, and utilize what they think you can give.

I know this is a little presumptuous, but probably not too far off. So what category do I fall in, how do people see me? I know that the title "pastor" automatically sets me in a certain genre, but besides that I don't know. Am I the fun one, or the one people feel obligated to involve in their lives? Do people genuinely desire my counsel or talk to me when they have no where else to go? Am I thought of as someone who is genuine or someone what pretends to be a certain way.

It's weird to get emails or face book messages that reveal how people see you. Some are humbling and encouraging, others are disappointing at best. Some make you proud to be who you are, others just remind you of your short comings. At it's best it causes me to want to be the best man of God that I can be, and at worst it makes me want to give up.

So to all you who have catagorized of me, I hope it brings out the best... in both of us.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Hume

Every year 50 of us load up for a 9 hour bus ride up to a small camp in the sequoias. In this unassuming small parcel of land, something extraordinary takes place. The children of God gather and spend some much needed time with their Father. They listen to His voice and are reminded of his love for them. They see His handiwork and stand in awe of Him. They tell stories of His goodness and have their hearts warmed as they reminisce of His faithfulness.

It is during this short time, these 6 days set aside every year, that God and his children re-establish the special bond that exists between the creator and his creation. In this time, conviction and comfort, rebuke and restoration, 1st time decisions and re-dedications take place. During this week the family of God seems to escape the complications and ill effects of the sin which plagues our world. They come back empowered, with a renewed vigor and hope, to address the issues that await each of them back home. They are reminded of the words of Jesus "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world!". They are reminded that he is bigger than their problems, stronger than their weaknesses, braver than their fears, and able to accomplish his perfect will in their lives.

They come back changed.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Listen

I've been thinking about taking a "vow of silence". I know it's not practical, and it would probably cause my son to need therapy 30 years from now as he recalls "the Silent years", but I it would be soo good for me.

I have been actively trying to listen to God more in the last month and a half. So far I've had mixed results. Some days God is very clear in what he is saying to me, other times I can't hear his voice at all. It's easy for me to blame the phone, people around me (it's not a quiet household these days), or the general business of life for my lack of hearing... but I think those are just cop-outs.

If I'm real with myself about these matters, I don't really want to hear a lot of what God has to say to me. His words challenge my way of life, my thought patterns, my desires to attain certain things in this life, and even what I want to accomplish in ministry. But they also breath life into my very being, they whisper of his love and grace, they remind me of the eternal significance of my work for him, and they empower me to be the husband, father, and man that I need to be.

Ultimately his words lead to life. I need to listen to them, whether I want to hear them or not... and the only way that can happen is if I am silent before him.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Summer Nights

Oh how my summer nights have changed over the years.

Tonight it consisted of watching my little boy play in the sand on the beach for the first time, as the waves chase him up and down the shore. Watching his only set of clothes get wet and sandy, followed by his sampling and continual consumption of that very sand.

This was soon followed by sharing a hawaiian shaved Ice as we waited for our food from the Santorini cafe. There's nothing quite like sharing a shaved ice with a little boy wearing nothing but his diaper and a hoodie.

It's amazing how you don't miss the freedoms, late movies, night hikes, and midnight swims when they are replaced by a simple evening at the beach with your family. I like my summer nights.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Ms. Hill

I seriously think that there might be a soundtrack of Lauren Hill constantly playing in the minds of black people. Let me explain...

Lauren Hill has this flow, the kind of flow that me as a white person is totally void of. Just listening to here brings rhythm and flow to what ever I do. I walk, write, think, even type in a fluid motion when she's singing in my ears...

Unfortunately this flow and rhythm is only present when I'm listening to her... My normal flow seems to be much more along the lines of 90's punk -fast, choppy, driving, with a hint of harmony.

Oh how I wish I could choose the soundtrack that played in my mind.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Coffee Bean

Have you ever made friends with a barista? Seriously. I have become (what I consider) friends with Randy, one of the barista's at coffee bean in Carmel Mtn. I don't really like their Americanos (my bev. of choice) as much as other established coffee houses, but I like talking to Randy when I go in.

Through our 2-5 min conversations I have learned alot about Randy over the last year, and I really like the guy. So I find myself going to Coffee Bean not for the drinks, or the atmosphere, but for a random relationship with a random guy who God loves.

So for that reason, I'm going to stick with coffee bean when I can. (unless I have gift cards to another place, cause I'm thrifty)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Got to keep it complicated!

So I was sitting down with one of the moms in my youth ministry yesterday talking about ministry, and the people I work with, when I realized something- My life is overcomplicated!

I don't know if it was because I was actually talking through these situations that made me realize it, but I feel like I'm working on Telemundo and am stuck in the middle of other peoples very own telenovelas.

Seriously! I need to start writing scripts for Mexican soap operas. I could be making thousands of pesos on the side. Oh well, here's to hoping that all of these dramas have a happy ending.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Re-engage

So I'm trying to re-engage in things that I have found meaningful in my life but have fallen by the wayside, and blogging is one of them.

My ten month hiatus is over. Life has changed, and I wonder where it's taking me. My previous roles of follower of Jesus, husband, and pastor, is now accompanied with 'father to be'. My roles in life are constantly shifting, and seem to be getting more complicated as I get older. But the good thing is that I am growing to love those roles more and more. I love my wife, my church, my God, and even my dog more than I ever have.

God is giving my heart new capacities for love that it has never had before. Along with that capacity for love comes it's sensitivity to pain. Loving is accompanied with heartache, compassion with empathy, insight with burdens. I find encouragement that strength is given to the weak, and wisdom to those who ask.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Glimpses of Jesus

Last night was Ted Cupples memorial service, the dad of 3 amazing girls that are involved in the youth ministry at our church. After the service ended I witnessed something beautiful take place. With tears of empathy and words of encouragement the family of God gathered together and talked about Jesus. How strong and good He is. How he showed himself through Ted's life and was faithful to Ted until the end. How he will bring healing to the broken hearts of his daughters, and how he will continue to walk with us through every circumstance.

I need community like this. I need to be reminded that Jesus is real, that he's here, and that he really does love us. I saw Jesus last night. I saw him in his people, I saw his compassion, his love, his empathy, and his healing. I love him.

JJ Heller

I just downloaded 7 songs by JJ Heller off I-tunes. I really like them

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Messed Up!

I have been messed up ever since I taught through the book of Revelation, and read 'the Mark of the Lion' series. I thought that my thoughts of impending doom would dissipate, but they only seem to get stronger. Track with me a second...

1) Revelation: (our future) things get really bad because people will not repent of their sin, so they abandon God and his ways. Satan deceives the world into following him, fights God, God wins. But it gets ugly for Christians in the process.

2) 'Mark of the Lion': (the past) Story takes place in the 1st century as the church is being established for the 1st time. People who are followers of Jesus are followers of Jesus.. They regularly die for him in the Arenas, are looked upon as vermin and anarchists. The people are united with each other, and their hearts are not divided -because they can't be. Christians are living like Christians. God is pleased with his followers.

3) Constantine: (years later) This emperor basically nationalizes Christianity, persecution stops, corruption begins. The world is filled with "Christians" who no longer die for Christ, but rob, steal, and murder in his name. God is grieved with those who do these things in the name of Jesus Christ.

4) Today: God longs for authentic followers again. We are returning to conditions like those in the 1st century because it's what we need in order to have undivided hearts.

So welcome to my mind... I haven't been talking to people about this stuff, it's just thoughts that I have that I can't shake. I expect things like prop 8 to pass, people who obviously don't love God to be elected, and for the church to finally have to take unpopular and (depending on what happens) illegal stands for what God says in His word. The Church needs persecution! I think God is tired of the way we are "following" Him. I think that a time is coming where we'll have to weather the storm and be found faithful to our Savior, or abandon Him for something else.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Death of a dream...

So I've always had these secret aspirations of being a Chef. I love cooking almost as much I love eating, and that is saying a lot! Natalie and I don't own a house, we don't spend much on clothes or gifts for each other, we go out to eat. Anniversaries, birthdays, special occasions, and non-occasions are filled with food. Our vacation routes are determined by what restaurants we would like to experience on that trip, and the restaurants that we go to are often the highlight of the trip.

My dreams of being a chef stemmed from the food my mom would cook for us. The way she shows love us is by cooking for us, and the way we show love back to her is by reveling in her creations. I am very good at showing her love! As I worked as a waiter in various establishments I paid attention to what was happening in the kitchen, asked lots of questions, and started to get a feel for cooking.

This, along with the inherited ability to create tasty dishes brought forth the desire to someday have a little place that would serve delicious satisfying meals. I always knew that this lifestyle would take work, but I never realized how much until I read my most recent book. "The seasoning of a Chef" by Doug Psaltis. It was a great read and thoroughly entertaining (for foodies at least).

Reading this book brought by dream to an end. If I want to be a Chef I need to be single, no way around it. 12-15 hr days 6 days a week don't scare me, but my marriage would disinigrate and my life would be all about food. I love food, but I need my life to be about people. So I will continue to eat, and leave the cooking to those who truly love it.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Cheesy girl books

So I decided not to watch T.V. late at night anymore... (despite my secret obsession with Steven Colbert- sorry Conan, you've been replaced) And so I've been reading before I go to bed. Since I'm not a fantasy geek like Wakeling, I've been reading a series that my wife owns, called: "The Mark of the Lion" by Francine Rivers. (Sorry Eric, but it's true)

What I'm really surprised by is how encouraging these books have been to me. They take place around 40 years after Jesus' death and follow the lives a Jewish girl, a family from Rome, and a German gladiator. Anyway, I don't know how historically accurate Rivers is in her writing -it seems like she's done her homework, but for the first time I feel like I've been given an inside view of what life must have been like for the early church (at least in Rome and Ephesus.)

Accurate or not, reading this series has made me think about, and want to love Jesus more. For that it's been worth my while. I'm not a big fiction reader, but this in case, it's been fun.

Any good books i need to add to my list? -let me know

Monday, September 15, 2008

Inspiration

I don't have much inspiration to blog lately. Typically it's something I enjoy doing, but lately... not so much. So I will give the super turbo update of the last 2 months:

Humelake was awesome, I was totally burn't out and wanted to run away to live in a cave, things got better when we hired another pastor, I realized I was being a jerky husband and have been working on it, I lost all the muscle tone I had gained over the summer, I got in debt because of a ticket - a broken windshield - and a trip to Pittsburgh, i didn't win fantasy baseball, and I finally saw Batman.

Now that we're up to date, I'll try to blog more often

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Themed Bowling



Randomly this summer we decided to have a weekly event at Poway Funbowl. It started out as something that the Jr. High volunteers did after our Wed. night Bible study, and has grown to over 20 people. We dress up in different themed outfits from "nerds", to "gangsta's", to "business attire". It's not an official event by any means, I have no responsibility, I just show up bowl and leave. The thing that's frusterating is that our bowling nights have been more successful than events that have taken days if not weeks to plan... I don't get ministry sometimes. Any way, here are some Pics...

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Pittsburgh

So I leave for Pittsburgh on Wednesday night to be in my good friend Steve's wedding. This will be the first time I've ever been to the "Steel City" and I don't know what to expect. The first couple of days are going to be filled with the wedding but I have Sunday completely to myself. My plane doesn't fly out until 8:30pm Sunday night... So, what do I do?
-Any good churches, restaurants, or sights that I should make sure I see? I love food, I could go to a Pirates game, etc... I need suggestions so I don't spend the day sitting in the terminal.

About Me

I'm a follower of Jesus, Husband to a beautiful wife, father to an amazing boy, and Pastor to wonderful people. I live in Alameda with my wife Natalie. I love food and have secret aspirations of being a chef. I would also love to live in the mountains some day, and have a closet full of flannels.